Pour Your Heart Out ... Terrifyingly Awesome - Baby Steps in High Heels

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out ... Terrifyingly Awesome

I had another post in mind for today, a post about the difficulties of balancing work and motherhood … the guilt you feel when you work from home but send your child to day care. Couldn’t I just try to balance it all? Baby might not have a meltdown during that conference call. She just might let me complete all of my tasks.

However, that’s a post that will have to wait for another day. Because. Because, this morning, I woke up to the most terrifyingly awesome realization since Baby’s birth.

Husband’s alarm rang at 5:30. Hmmm, I can still catch a few more minutes of sleep … OHMYGOD! Oh. My. God. I never fed Baby last night. She never woke up in the middle of the night. The last time I looked at the clock, it was 12:30, and she had eaten at 10:15. My alarm didn’t go off at 3:00 am. I never heard her cry on the monitor.

Talk about a heart-in-your-throat kind of moment. Baby is an excellent sleeper, but she eats like clockwork.

A rush to her room to hear her breathing brought instant relief. Yes, in those 12 seconds, every single paranoid-mom-thought raced through my mind. Fever. Sick. SIDS. All of it.

But, she was just a sleepy girl. And in that moment of relief brought a fantastic realization. Baby slept for 7 hours straight! 7 hours! I doubt it will ever happen again. I almost don’t want it to! Ha! As much as I’d love to sleep for 7 straight hours every night, I’m not sure it’s worth the fear/anxiety that came with it.

Well, okay, it wouldn’t be a bad thing if she decided to make it a habit! As long as I’m expecting it, I think I’d be okay. And, now that I know she's able to go 7 hours ...


  1. I clearly remember that feeling of panic the first time my oldest slept through the night. I was SURE something horrific had happened in the middle of the night because there was NO WAY he could have gone eight hours without a bottle. ;) I hope this is the beginning of many more restful nights!

  2. uuugh. I STILL do that with my 2 year old some night!!

    Yay for sleeping through the night. Now if they will just sleep til 9am I would be eternally grateful and less bitchy!

  3. Oh man, I remember those fears. Every time one of my kids broke their current sleeping habits. Cept, I couldn't sleep through it. I would lay awake waiting to hear from them,or walking in the nursery to listen to them breathe (even if I had the monitor on). Touch their skin to make sure they weren't cold.

    I am my own worst enemy when it comes to sleeping.

    Enjoy it, she may change her schedule for the best of mom. It's not unheard of.

  4. I did the exact same thing when Eli first slept through the night (almost exactly a month ago). I woke up and then suddenly was RUNNING into his room to make sure he was still alive! It was the biggest mixture of fear and relief I've ever felt.

    And trust me, you will enjoy it once it starts happening consistently.

  5. I STILL do that with Will and he'll be 5 in a month! If he is still sleeping when I wake up I go as far as touching him on his back to feel him breathe. If I can't feel him, I nudge him to make him move around. For the most part, MP sleeps through the night but I still wake up several times a night to touch her on her back to make sure she's still breathing. Oh the joys of motherhood, as if I wasn't already paranoid enough!

  6. I was like that with my second. My first was the worst sleeper ever so when my second would actually sleep, I would wake in a panic!

    You'll learn to enjoy it, though.

    Thanks for linking up!