Friday, July 30, 2010

There are no words ...

It seems that there has been a run of bad luck lately.

And ‘luck’ isn’t really the appropriate word.

A run of terrible, tragic incidents … sick babies, hospitalizations, even infant deaths.

There are no words …

Except: Hold your babies closer. Hug them tighter. Tell them more often just how much you love them.

And, pray for those who cannot …

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

PYHO: Working Mommy Wednesday

Today, I’m linking up with Shell at Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out –AND- with Julia for at Work, Wife, Mom ... Life! for Working Mommy Wednesday!





I’m not actually following one of the WMW prompts, though, because I have other things on my mind.

I think that all moms, whether you stay at home with your kids or go to another job (outside the home) every day, grapple with whether they’re doing the right thing. And, even when we know we’ve made the best decision for our family, for our particular circumstances, we all probably have times when we second guess ourselves.

For me, this struggle comes when my job slows down in the summer, and I have the ‘luxury’ of working from home and having a very flexible schedule. It’s a fantastic situation because it affords me an opportunity to still earn a paycheck while getting to do some of the things that SAHM moms get to do more regularly.

During these summer months, I’ve taken Baby to music classes, kept her home from day care a little late to rock her for her morning naps, picked her up early for some extra special Mommy & Baby ONLY play time! I really enjoy these times, and I know I’m lucky. If I worked a traditional 9-5 job, I wouldn’t have these opportunities.

However, with this type of work situation, I also run into a lot of guilt. I very often feel like I should be finding a way to keep Baby at home with me all day while I work. I feel like I should be able to balance this stuff a little better, especially since my work load is considerably reduced right now. I question whether I’m being selfish to send her to day care every morning when I know I’ll have at least an hour at some point during the day that we could have spent together. It’s tough!

But, since we had Baby at home over the last couple of days while she was sick, I was really able to put things into perspective. Trying to care for your baby, sick or well, is not that easy to do amidst the real responsibilities I have to my employer.

I had a couple of important work calls, and Baby either cried or bounced/laughed quite loudly (after her fever broke, of course) through my entire conversations. Having an 8-month-old around is not exactly conducive to the most productive or professional working environment.

I see now that it’s important for me to send her to day care. I have obligations and responsibilities to my job that I really can’t perform to the best of my abilities if I’m trying to sooth/play/change/feed/etc. my little girl. And, more importantly, I can’t really give her what she needs when I’m preoccupied with emails/reports/conference calls/etc.

It’s a tough pill for me to swallow. I’d love to be able to do it all. But, this is how things work best for my family. (For now.) She thrives in day care. She is socializing and being stimulated in ways I couldn’t provide. Really … my level of fluency in Spanish ends at cerveza. They’ll teach her things I can’t. And, she has fun! There are no other little babies at home for her to play with and learn from.

On the other hand, while she’s ‘building’ her immune system (er, working on her 3rd ear infection in as many weeks), I’m able to provide excellent health insurance at a really low cost to our whole family. I’m able to afford those music classes in the summer, something I probably couldn’t do if we were a one-income family. Or, if I worked another type of job, I might simply not have the time to fit in activities like that.

It works. It’s hard. But, it works.

I don’t think I’ll ever be completely at peace with how things ‘work’ for us, but I’m starting to gain more confidence in knowing that Husband and I are making the best decisions for ourselves, for our daughter, and for our family as a whole. I might always ask the ‘what if’ questions … I think that’s what good parents do. It’s important to constantly evaluate our situation to make sure that past choices are still the best ones for our constantly evolving lives.
For now, this is what works for us. And, that’s okay!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

PINT: 8-months-old!






[Sorry, meant to type that it was not 'until' after her fever spiked back up. Too tired to do this over again!]








By the way, I did these post-it notes a few hours before I actually got around to posting my blog for today. It appears that the new antibiotics are making my child a hyper little girl. Oh, I can only imagine what we have to look forward to over the next 10 days ...

[Another apology, this time to the great and powerful SUPAH ... not sure why, but I can only seem to copy/paste occasionally. I think my computer has PMS. It's a little moody. Can't grab the PINT button, but you can click on Supah's name above to go to her site.]



Monday, July 26, 2010

And that's what I get ...

for opening my big mouth.

Here’s how it happened:

Late Friday afternoon, I took Baby to the doctor’s office for a follow-up visit after her double ear infection diagnosis. It had been two weeks since the initial visit. And, her ears were clear … no more infection! This was very good news.

But, we had to go through all of the typical follow-up questions:

Has she been fussy? Well, yes, but she’s cutting 4 teeth right now.

Has she been eating regularly? Yes.

Has she been making wet and dirty diapers? Oh, yes. No problems there.

Has she been running fever? No, but really she never runs fever. I don’t think her temperature has ever risen above 99.5. And, even when that happens, it’s back down to normal when I check it again a little while later.

And that’s where the karma gods got me. I should have never said ‘never’ …

Flash forward 36 hours, and Baby is running a fever of 101. Now, I know the doctors all say this is low-grade, but I beg to differ. When your child almost never even hits the regular 98.6-degees on the thermometer, 101 is pretty high.

So, we spent the weekend giving tylenol, motrin, and lots of extra cuddles. The fever seemed to break overnight, but she’s still a little clingy and lethargic. I don’t actually think she’s sick. It’s probably a result of the teething (although doctors will tell you that teething doesn’t cause fever … again, I beg differ).

In any case, my little girl is having a rough couple of days. I feel terrible for her. I hate feeling like I can’t really do anything to help her feel better.

But, I’m also feeling guiltily blessed. A new baby was born in my family last week, and he’s not doing well. Before he was born, he was diagnosed with a chromosomal disorder. Now, even with MRI and many other tests, his prognosis is still uncertain. I am asking today for all of you to say an extra special prayer for this sweet, baby boy. And for his parents.

It’s hard enough for me to watch my baby have just a mild fever. I can’t imagine what parents must go through when they’re dealing with much graver situations.

On that note, it’s been a while since I’ve mentioned Mission Monkey. Let’s not forget that sweet little baby either. Or any other children who are dealing with illnesses now. We all have prayer buttons on our blogs, but sometimes these can just blend into the background with everything else that’s going on. Today is a good day to lift up extra prayers for all of these kids and their families.

Friday, July 23, 2010

I always knew that would come in handy!

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, like since before Baby was born, you might know that I was pretty sick when I was pregnant. I’m not just talking a little high blood pressure or gestational diabetes.

I had hyperemisis, and it was no fun at all. If you’re unfamiliar with the condition, just imagine having morning sickness, the flu, mono, and the worst hangover of your life … all day, every day, for 9+ months. Let’s just say that pregnancy wasn’t the sunshine-and-roses-joy-of-joys for me that it can be for others.

Hyperemisis involved constant nausea that had me practically living on the bathroom floor. No joke, I would pull my blanket and pillow in and curl up at the base of the toilet.

After living like this for a long enough period of time, by body had had enough. So, off to the hospital we went. Again. And again. And again. Infusion therapy, it was called. I sat in a chair in the chemo ward and was hooked up to an IV drip in order to re-hydrate.
Because my doctor’s office was about an hour from my house (without traffic), I was eventually set up with home health.

[Humor me for a minute, while I digress a bit … a common misconception about home health is that a nurse or medical professional will be available to help you. In your home. While you’re sick. Please, let me clarify. Home health actually means that a nurse shows up, for about an hour, and teaches YOU how to 1) manage your own IV, and 2) change out your medical infusion pump (i.e., stick, stick, and stick yourself again with a thumb-tack like needle). Then she completely abandons you. FYI – I can’t even watch somebody else stick a syringe into my arm. How the hell am I supposed to do it to myself? Oh, but I did. It was horrific.]

Anyway, the point of this story is not to reminisce over that nausea and misery. Although, I do think it’s probably in my best interest to recount this from time to time in order to prevent me getting and ‘maybe-a-second-baby-would-be-a-good-idea’ fantasies.

No, the point of my retelling this story at this particular time is that … I always knew that IV pole from my home health days would come in handy!

Now, I have threatened friends and family members that it might show up during a White Elephant game at Christmas. Bad news, my dear loved ones. I’ll be hanging on to that IV pole myself.

Why?

Because … after Baby was up a good 2 hours earlier than normal this morning, and after she was up multiple times throughout the night, I am convinced that I will need to set up a caffeine drip in order to maintain my sanity. I love my Keurig coffee maker, but I’ve got to find a way to connect it to the IV pole. Seriously, any suggestions?

In what can only be described as an act of purely ignorant/naïve idiocy, Husband and I actually threw away all of the tubing that came with the pole. Where might we get a new stash? And, do you think it’s a good idea to first brew the coffee, then drip it into my veins? Or, should we just skip the brewing step altogether and pipe those coffee grounds right on into the blood stream?

Really, I’m all ears. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Be creative … it might be the only thing keeping me awake today. You know, until I can dig that IV pole out from the corner of my garage.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Big Baby Steps

Baby will be 8-months-old on Monday. She has come a long way in the last 4-6 weeks or so. She’s now an expert sitter, loves to handle her pacifier (put it in and out of her mouth, transfer it from hand to hand, etc.), and talk.

Oh my, does she love to talk. I think she gets that from me! It’s crazy how much her ‘vocabulary’ has improved in such a short time. Just last month, she was barely managing individual syllables like ba, da, gee, etc. Now, I swear she’s saying real words and even complete sentences.

I can’t understand her of course, but some things sound like ‘Hi Dad!’ and ‘Again!’

I know she’s not really saying these things, but it still amazes me how she’s stringing together consonants, vowels, and multiple syllables/words.

She’s also trying to crawl. Not while she’s awake, mind you. I swear. This kid will lie flat on her belly and ‘swim’ with her arms and legs all day long. But, put her down for the night, and she starts to scoot … in her sleep! Is this normal?

She has been sleeping with her butt in the air and literally ends up on the other side of the crib in just a short amount of time. It’s really funny to watch her on the video monitor.

It’s like she has two completely different skill sets: the day set and the night set. During the day, it’s all about ‘swimming’, ‘surfing’, and getting MAD when she doesn’t end up going anywhere. At night, she’s a mover and a shaker!

(Yes, I’ve abandoned my tummy-sleeping-paranoia. For part of the night anyway. But I do still check to see if she’s breathing. About every 5 minutes.)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

PYHO: A grateful glass

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I’m linking up with Shell again for another edition of Pour Your Heart Out. It’s been a while since I’ve done this meme, primarily because I’ve been too exhausted to really write from the heart. Apparently, it much easier just to complain about sleep deprivation!

Well, today is really no different on that front. I’ve been up since about 4:00 a.m., minus the 35-minute ‘nap’ I snuck in some time between 5:45 & 6:30 this morning.
Yes, it’s one of those days.

It’s easy to get caught up in the difficult stuff, especially when your energy (physical, emotional and mental) and sanity seem to be taking their very own summer vacation.

It’s easy to let these things consume you. You know the things I’m talking about …

The bottles: cleaning them, sanitizing them, prepping them with water/formula.

The diapers: changing them. Changing them again. And again. Because apparently my daughter prefers only to poop in clean diapers.

The sleep: or, the lack thereof. The rocking, the napping, the tummy/face sleeping.

Yes, it’s very easy to feel overwhelmed. However, despite the all of this, I’m feeling especially grateful lately. Don’t misunderstand … I do still feel very overwhelmed. Many times. Every day.

But, I also feel very blessed.

Why?

Because I have a fantastic husband.

Husband is, at least in my opinion, an anomaly. In a good way. A really good way.

The man cleans our house. Weekly. He helps with all of those things I listed above – diapers, bottles, etc. He gets up in the middle of the night when Baby needs feeding, rocking, or swaddling. He plays with her, snuggles her, encourages her to laugh, sit, and crawl. He’s up at 5:30 every morning and is usually the last one in bed at night. He really, truly is a wonderful father and husband.

I hear stories about other husbands, from previous generations and from my own.

I hear stories about men who do nothing except maybe mow the lawn and take out the trash. I hear stories about guys who go to work, go to the bar, go out with friends, go-go-go …

And then there is my husband, who ALWAYS puts his family first.

I am so thankful to have found such a wonderful guy to share my life with.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

PR/Disclosure

This blog is not about contests and giveaways. I’d love to, but there is not enough coffee in the world to give me the energy to figure out how to organize/arrange/etc. all that would entail. This blog is about my life as a new mom and how I’m trying to balance life in general. If you have products that relate to babies, (working) moms, families, etc., I would be more than happy to provide my readers with an honest review.

I would be happy to do product reviews for anything related to the following:

-Babies (specifically, baby girls): toys, safety items, books, etc.

-Moms: stuff for working moms, work-from-home moms, moms in general

-Natural/organic food/cleaning products/etc. for adults and/or babies

-Exercise equipment/programs

-Professional/leisure/family travel

-Books: fiction or non-fiction, stories, parenting strategies, etc.

Really the list goes on. And on. And on.

As a busy working mom, my time is precious. I'm always looking for new products, services and ideas for me, my husband and daughter, and our family in general. Any reviews provided on this blog will be 100% honest. As a courtesy, I will contact you first if I don’t love your product, and you can decide if you still want my review to post.

Baby Steps in High Heels also accepts paid advertising.

If you are interested in having me review your product or service, or for more information regarding paid advertising, please contact me at BabyStepsinHighHeels (at) gmail (dot) com.

Thanks!
Jenn

Disclosure Policy
This policy is valid from 18 August 2010

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact BabyStepsinHighHeels At gmail Dot com.

This blog is willing to accept free products to keep and review. This blog is also willing to accept forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.

The compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this blog. All advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by a third party ad network. Those advertisements will be identified as paid advertisements.
The owner of this blog may either be 1) provided with free products/services to keep/review, and/or 2) financially compensated to provide opinions on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner of this blog may receive compensation for posts or advertisements, I always give my honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers' own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.

This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.

To get your own policy, go to http://www.disclosurepolicy.org

PINT: Post-Baby Exercise



[Sorry, I don't know why I can't seem to find this post. It was basically moves like the Paci Pick up (when baby drops the paci all day long), the burp cloth grab (forgetting it in another room: this keeps up your cardio when you have a baby who spits up non stop!), etc.]






[Okay, my baby is pretty good natured and is typically easily amused. But, she has her moments. And even when this does entertain her, YOU try stopping when it means ending those fantastic baby giggles!]

If you're going to be doing these things anyway, why not find a way to at least make them SOUND like exercise?!?! :)

Monday, July 19, 2010

About Me

I’m super thin, model tall, and bombshell blonde. I wear expensive red stilettos everywhere I go.

Wait. No. That’s my iStock photo.

I don’t mind if that’s how you’d like to picture me, though. I don’t mind one bit.

But, in reality, I’m a shorty! My blonde is 100% paid for … and I wear flip flops. Most of the time.

I am married to the greatest guy. Known on this blog as Husband, he is funny, kind, and a tad neurotic about organization and cleanliness. Which means, he cleans my house. Weekly. Even toilets. Yes, I’m a lucky wife.

We are new parents to the most beautiful little girl. We call her Baby around here. She’s amazing and so much fun. Except when she sleeps on her face. That just terrifies me.

I do love high heels. I own many, many, many beautiful pairs of shoes. I just don’t wear them very often these days. You know … since Baby goes to sleep for the night before the sun even goes down. I could don my red patent leather peep-toes for the sixty-eight trips I make up and down the hall each night to make sure my child-who-sleeps-on-her-face is still breathing. However, the click-clack of the heels just might wake that sweet, sleeping child. And, that would most definitely interfere with the other love in my life.

Wine.

Red wine. White wine. A little Bubbly from time to time. I’m not a wine connoisseur. I can’t talk about bouquets. I rarely identify the ingredients based on aroma alone. Heck, sometimes I can’t even do that by taste. I just know that a nice glass of wine at the end of a long day (or sometimes in the middle of the afternoon) is relaxing and enjoyable.

And, when I come home from work at the end of the day …. *sigh* … sometimes at the end of the week (as my job often takes me away for a few days at a time), nothing makes me happier than slipping off my trusty black pumps, rocking my sweet baby girl to sleep, and sharing a glass of wine with Husband.

A new topic

Husband, in his infinite blogging wisdom, has informed me that my readers ‘get it’ and that it’s time to move on to a new topic. He tells me that you’ve all gotten the picture ... We’re not sleeping. It sucks. But, now it’s time to move along to another subject.

Even with all of your VERY supportive comments, which I really do appreciate, I’m inclined to agree with the husband (but, please don’t tell him … it’ll go to his head in a heartbeat!).

But, before we move on, I just have to say that Baby IS sleeping better. We’re actually all sleeping a bit more now. And, as of Sunday, the culprit has been revealed. In addition to her double ear infection, Baby is cutting teeth. Yes, that’s plural. I count 3, maybe 4, teeth coming in all at the same time. Poor thing. No wonder she’s been fussy!

That said, upon Husband’s request, a new subject: A request.

Last week I received the following email from my husband:

Hello, wife:
I am writing to you today to inform you of the greatest baby shower present of all time. I have learned, through reliable resources, that J & A have received an X-Box entertainment system as a gift. I find this to be swell. Recently, I lost my 360 due to the dreaded red ring of death and instead of receiving a replacement from my loving wife, I had to divert my Playstation 3 funds to rectify the situation. This was quite disappointing. In closing: 360s are 1) excellent gifts 2) appropriate for people with small children, and 3) fun. Please adjust your life to allow me a minimum of 4 hours of game play per day, as well as future subsidizing of this worthwhile and rewarding obligation.
With love and blistered fingers,
Husband

I replied with the following message:

Husband,
I cannot begin to describe to you the gripping-white-knuckled-oxygen-draining-fear-inducing physical reaction that instantly takes control of my mind/body/soul when I see an email from you labeled 'X-Box'.
That said, I believe you have stated your case quite well. I will submit this to the blogging tribunal for final consideration.
With love and rolling eyes,
Wife

So, blogging friends, it’s up to you. Does Husband get a new Playstation and the requested 4 hours of playing time? [Okay, I can barely type this without laughing, but I promised I would ask!]

[NOTE: He's totally kidding. Okay, well, I'm sure he wishes that his life could operate like this, but Husband is solid, reliable and only ever plays games after every, single task/chore/etc. has been completed. That said, I think his request is hilarious. It's also basically how I feel about reading, traveling, and shoe shopping!]

Friday, July 16, 2010

Dear Webster, Can you remind me …

What’s the definition of sleep?

I used to know. Really, I did.

Even in Baby’s first few weeks/months. Even while I was hooked up to a hospital-grade breast pump for 30 minutes every 3 hours + attempting to nurse + doing all things that new moms do with new babies.

Even then, I knew the definition.

Sleep = rest = sanity

Okay, so maybe I do know the definition. Maybe it’s just that I don’t remember sleep itself.

We’re going on day ten thousand of nightly coughing fits, teething, nasal suctioning, extra comfort feedings, extra rocking, antibiotics, up-all-night (or at least many, many hours of) misery.

I feel terrible for Baby. She is the one enduring these symptoms, and I hate not being able to do much for her. We’ve given her the medicine. We’ve rocked her upright. We’ve used the humidifier. It’s just a waiting game.

And, I do feel bad for her. Really, I do. HOWEVER, while she is the one experiencing most of the above listed symptoms, she is NOT enduring the very last one listed:

Up-All-Night Misery.

Nope, not her. She’s sleeping through every bit of the other stuff, coughing fits included. Meanwhile, Husband and I have become zombies. Very grouchy zombies. Very inefficient, grouchy zombies.

Well, Husband is still pretty efficient, but not me. In my ongoing state of sleep deprivation, I even forgot to change Baby’s diaper yesterday before starting to rock her to sleep.

***NOT Mom of the Year judges, take note!

Okay, so I remembered pretty quickly, but geez … it’s amazing what removing a few (thousand) winks of sleep can do to the brain.

I’m thinking that tonight we might try to put Baby down in her car seat. For some reason, this has always sounded terrible to me. Or, at least, terribly uncomfortable. I’ve resisted the idea until now. However, every mom/grandma/day care worker that I talk to swears by it. Well, so they actually suggest the swing.

But, really, how much more sleep do you think I’ll be getting knowing that my child is dangling from a hook, swinging back and forth? Really? You all know I’m much too neurotic to doze off into blissful slumber while Baby just hovers above the floor.

I’m not saying it isn’t safe. Or that it hasn’t worked wonders for other people. Nope. It’s just my own dose of crazy that prevents me from going there. So, we might try the car seat. Planted firmly on the ground.

It’s that or slipping Baby a teeeeny dose of Unisom.

Okay, I hope I don’t have to say I’m kidding here. Maybe.

No, really ... I'm kidding.

Dear Webster, Can you remind me again ...

Um, what's the definition of sleep?

I used to know it. Really, I did.

Even in Baby's first few weeks/months. Even when I was hooked up to a breast pump for 30 minutes every 3 hours + attempting to nurse + doing all the other things new moms do with new babies.

Even then, I remembered the definition.

Sleep = rest = sanity

Okay, so maybe I remember the definition. Maybe I just don't remember sleep itself.

Thank God for coffee. Otherwise, I'd be a mess. Okay, maybe I am a mess.

But, you tell me how to handle night after night after night after night ....

of coughing fits, face sleeping, screaming cries, teething, nasal suctions, antibiotics, extra comfort feedings, hours of rocking.

My poor baby girl. I really do feel bad for her. She's the one who is sick and teething. And, it breaks my heart to hear her cough and not be able to do anything about it.

HOWEVER, she is also sleeping through all of the above stated symptoms while Husband and I have currently become zombies, very grouchy zombies. Very inefficient, grouchy zombies.

A list of things I forgot to do yesterday:
-That we have Baby Vicks that might be helpful (and it worked like a charm the second it was applied. Only three hours after she'd been coughing her head off)
-To turn off the fan in Baby's room. It dries the air and makes coughs worse.
-To change Baby's diaper before starting to rock her for bed (I did eventually remember.)***VOTERS for NOT Mom of the Year Contest, please note!***

There are more items for this list, but I'm going for Not Mom of the Year ... not the CPS took my child away award. Okay, it's not that bad. Really. Baby if fed, changed (now!), and happy. She giggles all day, barely uttering a single cough.

I've hesitated until now, but I'm thinking she'll be sleeping in her car seat tonight. For some reason, this sounds terril

Monday, July 12, 2010

NOT Mom of the Year!

Have you ever had one of those days? You know the kind … when everything you do seems to be a failure. A disaster. Utter chaos.

No? Well, then maybe you are mom of the year! But, I most definitely am not.

In fact, I’m not just having one of those days. I’m having several of those days. In a row.

I woke up this morning trying to figure out just how to summarize the debacle that the last few days have been when I came across the NOT Mom of the Year Contest hosted by The Mommyologist and Life Without Pink .

Then it hit me … I am sooooo NOT Mom of the Year. And, the last few days prove it!

NOT Mom of the Year Award


Here’s why …

Baby has been a bit under the weather lately. We chalked it up to allergies. And teething. That’s what it was last time she went to the doctor. And, by God, I wasn’t shelling out another $20 co-pay to be told that there was nothing I could do about it. We suctioned her nose. We wiped her goupy eyes. We rocked her a little extra at night. Finally, I couldn’t take it with her eyes anymore. I called the doctor. They told me to bring her in for pink eye.

I knew it wasn’t pink eye (mother’s instinct/common sense = one point FOR Mom of the Year!).

One early Saturday morning doctor’s appointment later … Diagnosis: Double ear infection. Yes, go ahead and subtract that point. I suck.

How did I not know my child had a double ear infection? Probably because she had been pulling at her ears for days. Days. She had been fussy. Eating less from the bottle. Showing all the signs of an ear infection. But I didn’t get it.

And, let’s top that off with the following:
-I sent her to day care on Friday without socks. With a double ear infection. No socks. It was cold in that room.
-Baby and I took a short-ish road trip on Saturday after the doctor’s appointment (for a wedding shower). She sat in the back seat. Alone. She screamed. A lot. But, not before she made the biggest dirty diaper en route, which I changed in the back of my car with the sun beating down. We were both sweaty messes. Because of said wedding shower, Baby didn’t nap. So, again, she screamed on the return trip. We were both exhausted messes.
-I’ve forced her to change her sleeping habits while she’s been sick (see Operation De-swaddle below). And even though we’ve recently figured out that she loves tummy sleeping, I can’t put her down without waking her up. Screaming.
-Then last night I ran out of baby water to mix with the baby formula. Just ran out. Didn’t even know we were in low supply. Husband and I went to 2 stores to find it this morning, and neither one had any is stock. So we’re substituting distilled water until I can get to the grocery store later. I’m crossing my fingers that any fluoride content is low and won’t harm my child. Just stellar, aren’t I?

Am I a terrible mom? Sometimes I feel like it! But, no. I love my little girl, and she knows that. Sometimes, though, you just have a run of events that add up to disaster and leave you feeling like NOT Mom of the Year. And, that’s where I am right now.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Mission De-swaddle Attempt #1: Fail

Let’s see if I can string a few comprehensible words together in my state of ongoing sleep deprivation …

Baby likes to roll onto her face in her sleep.

Baby does not like to have her arms free.

Baby only sleeps with a swaddle.

Baby SCREAMS unless she’s swaddled, arms tucked in, and sleeping on her face.

Mama cries.

Our first de-swaddling (Yes, another word I’ve made up. Go with it.) was a major failure.

Not only did we break early, we actually regressed significantly. We didn’t just wrap her arms back into the nice swaddling sleep sack. We threw that thing on the ground and resorted to the hospital-type swaddling blankets.

She slept. Like a log.

So did we ... from 4-7 a.m.

Question: When do kids start realizing that weekends are for sleeping in? I’m thinking that crossing my fingers for tomorrow morning is a bit of a stretch (by several years, at least).

Fortunately, it appears that all of this is normal. In my weekly email from Our Baby 365, I received the following information for my baby at 32 weeks-old:

‘Between now and week 37, most babies go through a fussy period as their development ramps up. Yours may sleep less, have temper tantrums and lose her appetite.’

Awesome. Only 5 more weeks.

Yeah, I’m not holding my breath on that timeframe either. Don’t worry. Sleep deprivation hasn’t left me that delusional.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Bad Blogger … and why I might never sleep again

First, let me apologize for my posting and commenting absence. In addition to the holiday weekend and a vacation day, I’ve been having some computer issues (still).

That said, my current computer is getting kicked to the curb within a matter of days. I should be up and running with the new one by the beginning of next week. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to post/comment, but this thing has a mind of its own.

Seriously, if you’ve received a comment from me in the last few days, you must be one of the chosen few, deemed by the computer gods as ‘worthy’ of not freezing and/or shutting down my computer. In fact, I’m writing this now without any assurances that it will ever post …

Anyway, enough about that. (But I do thank you for your patience!)

Why might I never sleep again? Duh. Because I have a baby. Like you didn’t know.

Okay, that part is obvious, but there are new details in our ever-developing story. Details, that I’m sure will rivet you and keep you on the edge of your seat.

Actually, this might bore you right to sleep. I hope it does. If I can’t sleep, somebody should be able to get a few minutes of shut-eye!

So, my sweet little girl, who has always been a very good sleeper, has turned a new corner. I hope/pray/plead/beg that this is a phase, and a short-lived one at that. She really has always slept well. At least, once we realized she did better in her crib than in our room. And once I stopped inflicting the horrors of nursing on both of us … she thrived (aka, slept like a log) in her own bed. For hours on end. Throughout the night. Sure, she still wakes up for a bottle, but that entire process has typically lasted 10 minutes, 15 tops. And back to sleep we all would go.

Lately, though, this is not the case. In the past couple of weeks, I am usually up at least twice an hour from midnight until 5 am …

-Putting the pacifier back in her mouth.
-Re-swaddling her.
-Turning on the sleep sheep/white noise machine.
-Making sure she’s still breathing because she’s been too quiet.
-Making sure she’s still breathing because she just coughed/gagged herself for the 10th time.
-Suctioning her nose at 3 am so she can breathe.
-Or, my favorite … waking her up to change her diaper, because she just pooped. In. Her. Sleep. What the?! She hasn’t done this in months!

Last night, Baby threw a new curve ball our direction. We still swaddle her. We tried to ease her out of it, but she tends to pull at her ears, eyes, paci, etc. and jerk herself awake if her arms aren’t tucked in. Swaddling has helped her get her best sleep. She stays out for longer periods of time and seems to be more rested in the morning. With the very rare exception, this also keeps her on her back.

Until now.

I’m sure, at this point, it’s okay for her to be a tummy sleeper. But, you know me. Paranoid as ever. (Paranoid at best!)

If the books, the Internet, the doctors, even the embroidery on the sleep sacks say ‘back is best’ … I will obsess and FREAK OUT is she so much as looks like she’s rolling over.

And, that she did. Many, many, many times. Arms still tucked into the swaddle. Face firmly planted into the sheet. Sound asleep. Without so much as a care in the world.

She made no fuss. No attempt to turn back over. Not even an attempt to turn her head.

Sure, she’s out of the typical age range now that she’s seven-months-old, but my mind is screaming … SIDS! In the middle of the night. SIDS!

This has totally freaked me out. I felt a little better, because we watched her do it again (and again and again and again) on the monitor this morning, and she seemed to be making more effort to free her airways. But, it’s definitely time to remove the swaddle. We might have many hellacious nights ahead as she adjusts to having free range of her arms and legs.

And, I probably won’t ever sleep again, because I’ll be vigilantly watching the video monitor making sure she can turn her head and not suffocate. But I suppose that’s what it’s all about, right? I mean, add in my extreme paranoia and fear, and then that’s what it’s all about.

Am I crazy? If you think so, then I would like to plead ‘not guilty by reason of sleep deprivation’ … otherwise, I’d love to hear how you have overcome any of these obstacles (anything from transitioning sleep patterns to shear craziness!).

[Sorry for the long post. I guess this is what you get when I’ve been away for a while! Now, let’s hope blogger and my computer have called a temporary truce as I attempt to publish this post.]

Monday, July 5, 2010

Fourth of July BLOW OUT!

I hope everyone had a great, fun weekend celebrating July 4th! We had a … blow out!

You might ask … what kind of blow out?

A party? Nope.

A sale? Probably somewhere, but no shopping for me.

A tire on my car? No, but that’s closer …

A diaper. Yes. Yes, my friends … a diaper blow out of epic proportions. I’m not sure what Baby was up to this weekend, but she definitely gave us a run for our money. The thing is, we weren’t in the car for that long. Maybe a total of 3 hours over the course of as many days. But, all … ALL … of her dirty diapers occurred in the car.

The icing on the cake, though, was yesterday. We were heading home, driving 70 mph down the highway without a convenient place to stop for miles. MILES. And, there she goes. There IT goes. Everywhere. I tried to take a peek and stuck my finger right in it. Lovely. I then attempted to use a burp cloth, which is basically a cloth diaper, to prevent her mess from getting all over the car seat. Mind you, we were miles from home, so whatever happened, she would be sitting in that car seat for a while.

I was actually quite successful in protecting the car seat. Her cute Fourth of July Outfit on the other hand … well, let’s just say it went straight into the trash can in a Taco Cabana parking lot right along with the diaper.

No pictures of Baby’s first Independence Day. No proof of just how cute she was in that little red outfit with a bow in her hair. No fireworks. (That diaper must have worn her out, because she was asleep even earlier than her normal 6:30 bed time!)

Nope. Just a grisly diaper story. Why do I continue to be surprised by this? I really don’t know. This is my child ... Just when we thought the exciting news of the weekend would be that she officially sat up, unassisted, for the first time on Saturday … nope, she had to one-up us with a story of another kind to regale. Lovely.

Friday, July 2, 2010

I'm a BFF!

Shell over at Things I Can't Say is hosting Blog Featured Friend every this summer, and this week it's my turn! Check out her blog, not just my guest post .... she's honest, realistic, and funny. She manages a busy life that included 3 boys and doesn't even bat an eye, unless of course somebody asks her if she's planning on trying for a girl!

I'm so honored to be her BFF this week!




I'd also like to take a minute to introduce you all to another blog. It's not your typical mom blog. In fact, the writers are not moms, not women, not parents at all. They are, however, hilarious. And, if reality TV is your thing, you MUST MUST MUST check out my friend Matt's blog at Straight Guys Who Watch Gay Shows (www.straightguyswhowatchgayshows.com) for the every man's take on girly reality shows. They're just getting started, but I see this being wildly successful! Jump on the bandwagon now so you can say you knew them when. They're on Facebook and Twitter, so pick your pleasure and follow their fun!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

My first time join in ...

”Mama’s

[NOTE: I'm so sorry, but buttons/HTML stuff do not seem to be working on my blog today. Visit
Mama Kat at http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/.]

Prompt # 3--Write a list of 10 things that are sure to put a smile on your face when you are not happy.

1. Baby’s laugh, smile, babble, bubbles, etc.
2. Husband’s comedic relief. Actually, just Husband. No humor necessary.
3. A bubble bath, a nice long one, without interruption!
4. A good glass of wine.
5. A new pair of shoes (and maybe a bag!).
6. Real mail, from the post office. Colorful envelopes help.
7. Catching up with a good friend.
8. A second glass of wine.
9. Homemade bread, of any variety. I don’t do chocolate. I do bread. mmmmm
10. Vacation. Being anywhere on the water.
11. Coffee.

Yes, I know there are 11 here … but technically # 4 and #8 could be the same thing (even though they're not).