Bad Blogger … and why I might never sleep again - Baby Steps in High Heels

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Bad Blogger … and why I might never sleep again

First, let me apologize for my posting and commenting absence. In addition to the holiday weekend and a vacation day, I’ve been having some computer issues (still).

That said, my current computer is getting kicked to the curb within a matter of days. I should be up and running with the new one by the beginning of next week. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to post/comment, but this thing has a mind of its own.

Seriously, if you’ve received a comment from me in the last few days, you must be one of the chosen few, deemed by the computer gods as ‘worthy’ of not freezing and/or shutting down my computer. In fact, I’m writing this now without any assurances that it will ever post …

Anyway, enough about that. (But I do thank you for your patience!)

Why might I never sleep again? Duh. Because I have a baby. Like you didn’t know.

Okay, that part is obvious, but there are new details in our ever-developing story. Details, that I’m sure will rivet you and keep you on the edge of your seat.

Actually, this might bore you right to sleep. I hope it does. If I can’t sleep, somebody should be able to get a few minutes of shut-eye!

So, my sweet little girl, who has always been a very good sleeper, has turned a new corner. I hope/pray/plead/beg that this is a phase, and a short-lived one at that. She really has always slept well. At least, once we realized she did better in her crib than in our room. And once I stopped inflicting the horrors of nursing on both of us … she thrived (aka, slept like a log) in her own bed. For hours on end. Throughout the night. Sure, she still wakes up for a bottle, but that entire process has typically lasted 10 minutes, 15 tops. And back to sleep we all would go.

Lately, though, this is not the case. In the past couple of weeks, I am usually up at least twice an hour from midnight until 5 am …

-Putting the pacifier back in her mouth.
-Re-swaddling her.
-Turning on the sleep sheep/white noise machine.
-Making sure she’s still breathing because she’s been too quiet.
-Making sure she’s still breathing because she just coughed/gagged herself for the 10th time.
-Suctioning her nose at 3 am so she can breathe.
-Or, my favorite … waking her up to change her diaper, because she just pooped. In. Her. Sleep. What the?! She hasn’t done this in months!

Last night, Baby threw a new curve ball our direction. We still swaddle her. We tried to ease her out of it, but she tends to pull at her ears, eyes, paci, etc. and jerk herself awake if her arms aren’t tucked in. Swaddling has helped her get her best sleep. She stays out for longer periods of time and seems to be more rested in the morning. With the very rare exception, this also keeps her on her back.

Until now.

I’m sure, at this point, it’s okay for her to be a tummy sleeper. But, you know me. Paranoid as ever. (Paranoid at best!)

If the books, the Internet, the doctors, even the embroidery on the sleep sacks say ‘back is best’ … I will obsess and FREAK OUT is she so much as looks like she’s rolling over.

And, that she did. Many, many, many times. Arms still tucked into the swaddle. Face firmly planted into the sheet. Sound asleep. Without so much as a care in the world.

She made no fuss. No attempt to turn back over. Not even an attempt to turn her head.

Sure, she’s out of the typical age range now that she’s seven-months-old, but my mind is screaming … SIDS! In the middle of the night. SIDS!

This has totally freaked me out. I felt a little better, because we watched her do it again (and again and again and again) on the monitor this morning, and she seemed to be making more effort to free her airways. But, it’s definitely time to remove the swaddle. We might have many hellacious nights ahead as she adjusts to having free range of her arms and legs.

And, I probably won’t ever sleep again, because I’ll be vigilantly watching the video monitor making sure she can turn her head and not suffocate. But I suppose that’s what it’s all about, right? I mean, add in my extreme paranoia and fear, and then that’s what it’s all about.

Am I crazy? If you think so, then I would like to plead ‘not guilty by reason of sleep deprivation’ … otherwise, I’d love to hear how you have overcome any of these obstacles (anything from transitioning sleep patterns to shear craziness!).

[Sorry for the long post. I guess this is what you get when I’ve been away for a while! Now, let’s hope blogger and my computer have called a temporary truce as I attempt to publish this post.]


  1. I'm sorry your so scared but this part.."SIDS! In the middle of the night. SIDS!" made me laugh like crazy! It's different for everyone of course, is she waking up or your waking up because your freaked out? If she is it could be teething, my son is almost 1 but he is teething right now so he's been waking up a lot to play, poop or scream in my face because he's teething. Otherwise, I'm sure it's just a phase she will (hopefully) grow out of soon!

    As far as sleeping on the tummy, mine has been doing it since birth. If we put him on his back he would scream and scream and I don't care what anything says...I'm not listening to screaming when I knew I just had to put him on his tummy and he'd pass right out. Mine only swaddled a few weeks and he started busting out of it so I'm not sure about that!

  2. Both of our children (4 and just turned 1), REFUSED...swaddling, so we never did it. They also both immediately flipped themselves to sleep over as soon as they learned to roll over. With my oldest I would always flip him back over (he was 5-6 months old) and he would immediately-in his sleep-turn right back over.

    I mentioned this to his pediatrician and he said something to the follow effect...

    You know, sleeping on their backs is best. It is what we recommend. However, once a baby is able to roll over on their own and WANT to sleep on their stomachs enough to continue roll that way, there is not a lot you can do to stop them. And typically if they are that physically developed, they are developed enough to get themselves out of a bad situation. And remember...we used to RECOMMEND tummy sleepy for SIDS prevention. In fact, when you (he was speaking to me) were little, you were probably placed on you stomach nightly for prevention. I used to flip babies over to their tummies in hospital nurseries. So although there is still a slight risk, it is very slight. If they insist on doing it, there is not a lot you can do about it. So there is not need to overworry yourself.

    So, with our daughter, we took that same advice although we've moved and have a different pediatrician.

  3. i had my little girls crib in my bedroom for the first six months and literally did not sleep soundly for the first six months because i was ALWAYS worried about her...
    and umm yeah she slept through the night immediately from the day i brought her home (sorry most moms hate me when i say that)
    but still i totally get what you are going through!

  4. Yes, you're crazy. But all new mamas are. :-)

    Eli has actually slept on his back at night since sometime in March. It helped him sleep through all those jerky movements he makes at night. And yes, I vigilantly watched him in the video monitor too those first few nights to make sure he wasn't suffocating. But he seems to prefer it, and since he lift and move his head, plus now roll over and scoot, I really don't worry about it anymore (excpet for when I catch him with his face smooshed up against a bumper or when he pulls a blanket over his face).

    And tell A to stop pooping at night! What that $%*& indeed! :-)

  5. Followed from your comment @ Gucci Mama.

    Every parent worries that much, the good ones anyway!

    I sure am glad folks grow out of the night pooping!!! Maybe she will let you get some sleep soon!

  6. I freaked out when my kids would roll over and sleep on their tummies, too. But, my doctor said that once babies are able to roll themselves over, they are past most of the danger of SIDS and to leave them be.

    I hope she goes back to being a good sleeper for you!

  7. following you now. I loved your post over at Shell's.

  8. Me too saw you at Shell's and had to come by and follow :).

    Oh man I don't miss those nights, now I'm on to a soon to be 3 y/o who thinks his head has to bonk everything. Almost time for a helmet :)

  9. I would put baby on her and his (x3) bellies b/c that's the only way they slept. When my sis had kids, they made you put baby on belly. Now, on back. I think ur baby knows which is best for them!