Another dilema - Baby Steps in High Heels

Monday, September 13, 2010

Another dilema

Baby has been in a fantastic day care since she was 8 weeks-old. We have loved the teachers, loved the way they have loved our child, and really liked the way the facility works – dividing babies into smaller age brackets as opposed to lumping 0-12 month olds into one class.

A few weeks ago, however, Baby was moved into a new classroom – the 9-12 month class. And, I just don’t like it. I don’t like the teachers at all. One of them is relatively nice, but I have been having a very hard time with the lead teacher. Perhaps I was spoiled by the previous teachers and how obvious it was that they loved my child. They were born child care givers. These new teachers just don’t give me that sense at all. In my opinion, they’re just there for a paycheck.

I know I’m assuming a lot with that last statement, and I probably shouldn’t be so judgmental. I wouldn’t know where to begin in organizing and efficiently running a classroom with 10 infants. But, I do know that my own child doesn’t eat every meal and nap at the same exact time every single day, which is what they try to tell me. In fact, they claim that every single child in their classroom eats at 9 am, 12 pm, and 3 pm and naps from 12:30-2:00. Every. Single. Day. This is a vast difference from the last classroom where, if Baby ate at 9:37 am, the report said: 9:37 am.

The real problem is that I just don’t get a good feeling.

There are some other factors, too. Baby has had a couple of ‘incident reports’ within just about as many weeks. I do understand that things will happen as babies grow, develop, explore. There are bound to be ‘incidents’ whether you’re at home or at day care. However, neither incident was the result of a wobbly baby learning to crawl or pull up. Both times involved another child whopping my daughter in the face with a toy.

Now, I understand that a teacher can’t be expected to catch every single thing that happens, but these just seemed to occur too close together for my taste. I really get a sense that these teachers are simply inattentive. It’s not just the incident report, but also how they respond to me … they don’t listen. In fact, one of them blatantly disagreed with me just this morning. On an issue that was not a matter of opinion.

And, let me tell you … if you think it’s difficult to leave your child in the care of another person that you don’t fully trust, imagine having to then take to the open highway for a business trip. Hours of driving. Alone with your thoughts. On a desolate highway. Without so much as an annoying driver to spur a bit of road rage and distract you for a few minutes.

There I was, all morning long, alone with my thoughts. I literally think I’m making myself sick over this situation. We have already secured Baby a spot in a new day care that will be closer to our house. However, she can’t begin there until the first week of December (after her first birthday).

That’s just too far away for me to sit idly by. So, I’ve decided to ask that Baby be moved to another classroom. I’ve struggled with this decision. I don’t want to be a problem parent. I don’t want my child to be neglected because I’ve rubbed somebody the wrong way (not that I think she’d actually be mistreated, but you know what I mean).

The thing is, I pay a lot of money for her to go to this day care. I’m not just looking for an efficiently run classroom. I’m looking for somebody to CARE for my child. That’s a lot to ask of perfect strangers. I know. But, I also know that it can be done. And that it has been done, time and time again, in this very place.

I don’t know if my request will be accommodated, but I know I have to try. It is already going to be difficult enough to leave home every week for the next 8 weeks for work. There is no way on earth that I will be able to do it if I don’t feel good about where my daughter is and who is taking care of her.


  1. I agree, you do need to go with your gut.

    I've worked in day care and I know that incidents do happen. However, if it is a continuing thing, especially if the same child is repeatedly hurting you child, you have every right to be upset and request to have another room. If the teachers don't listen to your concerns, then maybe you should talk to the director.

    Good luck!

  2. You can believe that if it was my child, I'd be camped out in that classroom until my child got moved.... a mother's intuition cannot be ignored!! Good for you for requesting a new classroom, I hope you get it...

  3. Follow your heart. I hate causing trouble or hurting feelings, but I've figured out that when it comes to my child, it doesn't matter who I upset. It matters that my child is in the best of hands at all times.

  4. I'm so sorry you're having a bad experience with this new classroom. But you're right -- you do need to feel good about it and have some kind of happiness and sense of security that someone loving and kind and attentive and accomodating is caring for your child while you're at work. I hope they can meet your request to move her to a new room.

  5. This post is giving me a panic attack. I'm starting my daughter in day care part time in November and I'm already losing sleep over it.

  6. You have that mother's intuition...go with it girl! Your little girl is your life so let them know your concerns!

  7. Trust your gut and never take chances when it comes to your baby.

    If only we were closer Monkey is totally needing someone to eat with during the day now that her sisters are at school. For her eating is so social so she doesn't want to sit down and eat without a party and apparently I am not exciting enough. Baby would be welcomed with open arms! :)

  8. I hope you get it all taken care of! I do know that it's hard to make sure that everyone is not getting walloped at all times with that many little ones, but if the care giver needs to, they need to get down on the floor with the children to make sure it doesn't happen as much. Of course there will be some stuff that happens (as always) but it will be much better, if you feel like they actually care!

    Hope you get a new classroom!