Day Care Dilemmas. Part 432. - Baby Steps in High Heels

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day Care Dilemmas. Part 432.

I am not oblivious to my ridiculously high set of standards. I operate under no illusions.

I clearly see and understand that there are very, very few people in this world that I would take care of my child just the way I would do choose to do so.

I understand that different people have different perspectives. Different circumstances. Different options.

I get it.

I didn’t move Baby to the new day care under any illusions that it would be a perfect fix or that all of my frustrations would immediately disappear.

I knew we would have new and/or different hurdles to contend with.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not frustrated.

Because I am.

It’s not just the small things. I am also frustrated with the bigger picture. For example, what genius decided that it would be okay for one person to be in charge of 5 kids? That’s the ratio … one person for FIVE babies.

I know there are moms out there who do this all the time. But, I'm fairly sure there are key differences between a parent caring for her own five children and a day care worker going through the motions of her job.

I by no means discount how difficult this job this must be. I can definitely understand an overlooked runny nose or other similar situations from time to time.

I’m just frustrated.

The issues I had with the other day care (i.e., basic incompetence) have been replaced with new problems.

Small things, really.

Why can’t they just put a bib on my child during meals so she’s not a disgusting mess by the end of the day?

Do they really consider ‘pork and beans’ a vegetable?

How can they let her go ALL day without drinking and not call me? (I know they tried very hard to get her to drink, but they should have called me on day 3 when she still wasn’t taking any of her bottle!)

I suppose this is nothing more than the working mother’s plight … learning where to give and take when it comes to putting your child in the care of others.

Many parents do it on a daily basis. Sometimes I wonder if they all struggle as much as I do. (Yes, I still cry some days when I get back to my car after dropping Baby off, especially now that we’ve hit the separation anxiety phase).

Or, is it just me? I know I’m a bit neurotic, a little controlling when it comes to things that are important to me. I am sure that there are some basic aspects of this whole day care dilemma that I make more difficult than necessary.

But, I can’t be the only one who feels this way, can I?


  1. I totally feel for you! I can't imagine leaving Marlee with someone else. I would be WAY more irritated than you are, I am sure! I hope it all gets better soon!

  2. I am sure you are not the only one to feel this way.

  3. Not only am I a mom, but I used to work in daycare, so I can see both sides to this. When I was working, the ratio was 4 babies to 1 adult and it could be a challenge.

    Asking the teacher to use a bib or change their clothes can be annoying to the teacher, but I think it's something they should do if the parents ask.

    I also get how hard it is to leave your kids. Mine were even in the same center where I worked! Maybe you could try calling to check on her?

  4. i was the same way... i even made up a journal that whomever was watching my kids would have to fill out for me so that way i knew exactly what was going on with my child. every poo,pee, spit up, bottle, food, nap, etc... it was nice to come home and know about what happened with my kid all day... even if it was my mom watching him/her :-)

  5. I was hoping this would be a better fit for you. :(

    I have been completely neurotic about my choice of preschools and my boys were only there for a few hours a day, a few days a week. We want the best situation for our kids.

  6. I will probably never fully understand the turmoil you must go through but I can send you lots of virtual hugs and hope you find some peace. I truly wish I could do more for you and Baby. XXOO

  7. This sounds frustrating and I think that day cares should be used to working with parents to meet their expectations. Yours don't sound too high to me. I have not dealt with a day care situation, so I don't have any great advice to give. Wanting a bib on, healthy food options, and communication about your child's fluid intake don't sound like unreasonable requests to me, though.

  8. Have you checked into the laws in your state? In Wisconsin, no child care place can have more than four babies to every one caretaker - 5 babies automatically means two caretakers.

    My daycare would definitely call by afternoon on one day of not drinking. If your kiddo just started, maybe they are used to the first few days of it being the "norm" as an adjustment?

    And the bib thing? Not excusable! My daycare was horrified when I offered to bring in bibs and then showed me a GIANT cupboard full of bibs that they had at their disposal and other than the occasional snotty baby, I've never seen a real "messy" baby in the 6 months we've been a daycare family.

    I've learned in those 6 months that you definitely need to chose your battles. There has been a lot of things that my daycare will do or not do that I scratch my head over and often times give it some time to see if the issue comes up again or if it's a big enough deal to make an issue out of. Otherwise I'd feel like I was the nitpicky crazy lady complaining about their every move.