The hardest part about being a working mom ... - Baby Steps in High Heels

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The hardest part about being a working mom ...

There are times when I find myself feeling incredibly jealous of stay at home moms.

It’s probably not for the reasons you might think, though.

I am not a mom who fantasizes about quitting my job and staying home with my kids. Of course, I would love more time with them, but I like my job. I’m good at it. And I think I am personally a better mom for putting my skill set to use in the working world.

I am not a mom who hates the idea of day care and wishes I could be the only one to love, feed, raise, and nurture my children. I am really, truly of the ‘it takes a village’ mindset. Miss Mighty is such a social kid, and I am not good at playing princess dollhouse for hours on end.

I was never a teacher. I am not crafty. And I am absolutely a failure when it comes to putting anything Pinterest to practice. I love my kids with everything I am, but I am also pretty sure they’d be bored by 8:00 a.m. on Monday if it was up to me to set their agenda.

And yet, there are times that I do find myself feeling very envious of moms who stay at home with their children, because I sometimes find it difficult to justify the typical mom feelings I have.

This is the hardest part about being a working mom. I find myself longing to get to be ‘just a mom’ when my kids are sick or sad or just needing some extra one-on-one attention. These are the times when I wish that I wasn’t responsible to anyone other than my own family.

We working moms rely so heavily on a well-maintained schedule and calendars that everything really does run like clockwork. When a child shows signs of being sick, our whole balance is thrown off as we attempt to reschedule meetings to fit in a doctor’s appointment. We sigh as the only available appointment is right in the middle of nap time, knowing that our already under the weather kiddo will not sleep at all that day. We want to bury our heads in our hands as we realize that fever means no school for 24 hours. We stress about how we will still get all of our work done when we now have to take off the rest of today, but also tomorrow.

Those are the emotional motions we go through as working moms. But we also feel the regular mom stuff too: My poor baby is sick! I just want to hold him all day. Let him take a two hour nap in my arms. Be the first one he sees when he open his groggy little eyes. I want be the one who is there for him, holding him, helping him to feel better. And I want to be able to do those things without feeling like I should be somewhere else or that I’m letting somebody else down. I want to feel the ‘mom’ feelings without the guilt that always seems to come with it.

I know our situation is the right one for our family, but sometimes trying to balance everything is just overwhelmingly hard. I know that stay-at-home moms have their own struggles to balance, but this is one of the times when I really envy the position they’re in. It’s their job to be at home. They’re exactly where they’re meant to be when a child is sick or in need. They’re not letting anyone else down by spending their time holding, snuggling, and nurturing their own child.

When my kids are sick, I would love to be able to put everything else out of my mind and just focus on nursing them back to health. It is, after all, my most important job. It’s just not the only one I have…



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9 comments:

  1. It's funny because H has had fever since Friday, so I have lost my two days that I work out of the house because he couldn't be at school. It's so nice to have that schedule, and when it's off track, it throws everything off!

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  2. It's so hard when they're sick. I've been a wahm for a while, so it's a little different for me. But I remember when I worked outside the home for a little while and one of mine was really sick. I hated that I couldn't be there with him. But of course, he was fine. It takes dad and grandparents and others to help us!

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    1. Yes, we definitely have to rely on our village. But even when I know they're taken care of, I just can't shake the mom feelings of wanting to be there myself.

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  3. It's funny how no matter what side of the fence you are on (working or stay at home mom) we all struggle with different emotions. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that we do what we because it's whats best for our families!

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    1. Exactly! I read an article about the hardest thing for SAHMs, and it made me think about the hardest part of my own situation. We all have struggles.

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  4. This post hits right at my heart. I feel this way quite often. I know I'm not cut out to be a stay at home but there times I wish I could spend time as one. The guilt sets in.

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    1. Oh, the guilt. Well, that's a whole other layer to this 'hardest thing' thing ... I hear you!

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  5. So tough! I'll be back to work full-time again soon and I'm really excited/crushingly sad. So many emotions in #momlife.

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