Today was supposed to be a holiday ... - Baby Steps in High Heels

Monday, January 16, 2017

Today was supposed to be a holiday ...

God bless this hot mess: Summer tank, fleece-lined leggings, glitter tutu, last year's shrug. Then she added tall Frozen socks and brown ankle boots. Sometimes you worry about the small things. Sometimes you pick your battles. 


Today was supposed to be a holiday for this working momma. But my youngest is sick, so we are scrambling to squeeze in a doctor's appointment. And I'm on mom duty instead of getting the pedicure and the peace-and-quiet I had planned. 

I had planned to meal prep, get some things for work organized in anticipation of a busy sales season, and possibly take a long afternoon nap. A little rest would have been ideal as I continue to shake off the effects of these cold/allergy symptoms that have plagued me for the last 10 days. Instead, I'm refereeing two of the tiniest, fiercest little people you could ever meet, who are currently reveling in that sick-but-not-sick phase that keeps kids at home and moms on their toes. 

I love these fierce little people, and I live every day for them. But my oldest has sung the same 6 words in rapid succession for the last 12 minutes strait, and I'm wondering how early is too early to pour a glass of wine. 

"Are we there yet?" they asked 2 dozen times on our 16 minute drive to the pediatrician. 

Today is not a day to worry about the small things. Today is a day to pick my battles. What she wears ... That he is hopping like a frog around the doctors office ... That I will get absolutely nothing done that I had planned...

I want to dwell on these things, wallow in frustration, grumble about that nap I'll never get. But picking those battles would be futile. Instead I am trying to take a cue from my 2017 word of the year (build) and re-frame my perspective ...

How fortunate we are that this happened today, when I am home from work. No meetings to miss or reschedule. No disruption to our overall schedule. No added stress for my over worked husband. 

Y'all, it can be hard sometimes to appreciate things like this. Things that don't immediately bring joy, things that aren't an obvious cause for celebration. But I'm trying every day to recognize these little gifts...the sick day that forces us to slow down, to take in extra snuggles on the couch, eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, and put aside the rest of the world. No matter how much it doesn't want to let you. 

Being still has never been my strong suit, but God always knows when I just need a little break. Today was one of those days. I didn't work out. I haven't rushed anywhere. I haven't cleaned, organized, or even answered more than an email or two for work.

   But I did have an amazing conversation with my kids about the significance of this MLK holiday, about kindness and inclusion, and respect, and love. 

  And my daughter was fascinated at the doctor's office, which led to more discussion and you tube videos...and, for the first time ever, she might be considering non pop star related life goals. 

  My son laid his head on my shoulder and reassured me that he would be just fine, because, "Mommy, you always take BIG care of me!"

These are moments that would have never happened if my day had gone according to plan.

So, when I say God bless this hot mess, I'm not referring to sparkly pink tutus paired with hiking boots and a dozen accessories. I'm referring to myself, and the constant buzz in my head that runs and runs until outside forces take over. I function both on autopilot and in complete overdrive so often that I think I want so badly to fight those outside forces, ignore the runny noses, and hope for the best.Today, I am grateful to have been able to press pause.

I let my one-of-a-kind child do her own thing when it came to wardrobe selection. And I allowed life to slow down, even if for a few short hours. It wasn't easy or even a very natural inclination for me, but I managed to pick the right battles today, listen to my instincts, and even sneak in a brief nap.

It may have taken 3 sittings to write the entirety of this post, but aside from the doctor's warning that steroids can cause hyperactivity and that my son's croupy cough could stick around for a couple of days, we are all doing just fine.

Thanks for joining me today as I take a few baby steps forward in my journey as a working mom. 

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