A year for peace - Baby Steps in High Heels

Friday, January 5, 2018

A year for peace

Happy New Year, friends. I’m kicking off 2018 with a tradition that I love: instead of making a resolution that is sure to be forgotten within the month, I have spent the last several years choosing a word to guide and anchor my goals for the year. Some of the words I’ve chosen include:


Each word has held a significant purpose at the time, and also often held multiple meanings. This year is no different, though my word has proven more difficult to pinpoint. My “short list” of words this time around was actually quite lengthy:

Slow Down

As you can probably see, these words share a central theme in that they all aim to point my life in a more peaceful direction, one that would allow me to feel balanced mentally, physically, and emotionally.

More days than not, I feel like the world is dragging me along through life. The balance of working full-time and attempting to still be a good wife, mother, friend, and family member and contribute to my community is daunting. I could honestly collapse into bed by 7:00 p.m. every single night and still not feel rested.

When our kids were still in their baby years, Husband and I joked that we were not the kind of tired that sleep could fix. It was true. We could have slept for a week straight and woken up tired just thinking about all of the tasks we had allowed to accumulate in our effort to rest.

Our kids are older now, but I am afraid I have yet to outgrow that stage of exhaustion. I spend countless hours going through the motions without ever feeling a sense of accomplishment. There are many days that I find myself saying, “Something has GOT to give!”

But, what? What aspects of our daily grind can we let go, and how can we better enjoy the ones that we truly value? Writing these words feels a bit like déjà vu … I’m almost certain I have written them before. We seem to be trapped in an cycle of busyness.

We enjoyed five different Christmas celebrations this year, four of which were outside of our home. And, of course, we truly did enjoy our time with our family at each of these gatherings.  However, the one celebration that we had in our home, the one I spent weeks planning for and preparing to be magical for our kids … well, it was magical for them; it really was. But it was also over in 2 hours. Then on to the next stop. This is just one example, but it is exactly how every other instance goes for us, as well. 

I recently decided that it would be time to plan a trip to Disney for our family. Unfortunately, there are literally NO dates in the next 12 months that we can plan this trip without disappointing somebody who is dear to us. So who do we disappoint? Do we skip the cousin’s wedding? Great Grandma’s 95th birthday? One of the many Christmases? Do I take time off of work during my busiest season? It is mind-boggling. It is exhausting. 

While I do not wish to disappoint anyone, ever, I also cannot continue this cycle anymore. More importantly, this is not the example I want to set for my children. It would devastate me to think they might grow up with the notion that it is normal to rush through life without ever truly enjoying it or being present in the significant moments - big or small. Thus, this new year begins a new journey for us. And it begins with me.

I’d like to tell you that I have a clear and specific plan to simplify, minimize, restore, connect, slow down … but I do not. I would love to tell you that I know exactly where to begin to bring balance, intention, and a stronger foundation of faith and mindfulness, but I do not. This year will be one of my own baby steps toward a much needed state of PEACE

No comments:

Post a Comment